"one blade."

He lies in my hand,
useless till I hold on,
and now…
well now it's so hard to let go.
He holds me,
as he's holding me now,
and it's so hard to say no,
so hard to fight him.
My friends hate him,
family doesn't know.
And me?
I hate him;
I want him,
but I hate him.
He makes my heartbeat falter,
my blood flow;
he makes me cry,
makes me hurt for reasons
I'll never know.
And yet I can't seem to let go…
because he can't think,
can't speak,
can't move,
can't breathe;
the most unreal piece of reality
to ever have a hold on my life,
and he's cutting me up,
inside and out.